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The Wheat Straw Plastic Seasoning Dish

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Once upon a time—or perhaps last Tuesday, memory is a fickle thing—there was a humble farmer named Old Man Barley. Now, Barley was a man of simple tastes: he loved his salt, his pepper, and most of all, his  Wheat Straw Plastic Seasoning Dish.   You see, this wasn’t just any dish. Oh no. It was magic.  At least, that’s what Barley claimed.   The Dish That Seasoned Itself   According to Barley (who may or may not have been drinking homemade beetroot wine at the time), the dish had a mind of its own. You’d set it on the table, and without anyone touching it, your food would suddenly taste perfect. Too bland? A sprinkle of salt would mysteriously appear. Too spicy? A dash of sugar would materialize.   The villagers were skeptical.   "Barley," they said, "you’ve been out in the sun too long." But then… strange things started happening.   The Great Soup Incident   One evening, the village’s Annual Turnip Stew Com...