The Wheat Straw Plastic Seasoning Dish

Once upon a time—or perhaps last Tuesday, memory is a fickle thing—there was a humble farmer named Old Man Barley. Now, Barley was a man of simple tastes: he loved his salt, his pepper, and most of all, his Wheat Straw Plastic Seasoning Dish.  

You see, this wasn’t just any dish. Oh no. It was magic. 

At least, that’s what Barley claimed.  

The Dish That Seasoned Itself  

According to Barley (who may or may not have been drinking homemade beetroot wine at the time), the dish had a mind of its own. You’d set it on the table, and without anyone touching it, your food would suddenly taste perfect. Too bland? A sprinkle of salt would mysteriously appear. Too spicy? A dash of sugar would materialize.  

The villagers were skeptical.  

"Barley," they said, "you’ve been out in the sun too long."

But then… strange things started happening.  

The Great Soup Incident  

One evening, the village’s Annual Turnip Stew Competition was underway. The judges took one sip of Granny Mallow’s stew—BAM!—it was suddenly the most flavorful soup any of them had ever tasted.  

Granny Mallow, who had never seasoned anything in her life, blinked in shock.  

Then they checked her kitchen.  

The Wheat Straw Plastic Seasoning Dish was sitting on her counter. 

The Mystery Deepens  

Soon, the dish began appearing in other kitchens. The baker’s bread? Suddenly had the perfect pinch of rosemary. The butcher’s sausages? A hint of paprika, just like his late wife used to make.  

People whispered:  

"It’s haunted!"  

"No, it’s blessed!"  

"No, Barley’s just playing tricks!"

But Barley swore he hadn’t moved it.  

The Truth? (Maybe.)  

One stormy night, the village’s Suspiciously Knowledgeable Goat (who may or may not have been an ancient spirit in disguise) revealed the secret:  

"The dish is made from the last wheat straw of the Harvest King’s field. It doesn’t season food—it seasons fate itself."

And then the goat ate a sock, so who knows if it was telling the truth.  

The End? (Or Is It?) 

The dish vanished the next morning. Some say it melted in the rain. Others claim it grew legs and walked into the forest. A few insist Barley buried it to keep its power safe.  

But to this day, if your meal tastes just right for no reason…  

Check your counter.

You might have a visitor.  

Moral of the Story:  

"Never trust a seasoning dish that moves on its own. Or a goat that speaks in riddles."

(Or this narrator. We may have made some of this up.)