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A humorous take on America's founding, comparing key historical moments to reality TV drama. From George Washington’s heroics to the Boston Tea Party’s petty rebellion, this article makes history entertaining and binge-worthy. You think *Survivor* is intense? Try founding a country. It’s like *The Real Housewives*, but with powdered wigs, muskets, and a lot more tea. Seriously, if reality TV existed in 1776, we’d be binge-watching reruns of "Colonial Chaos" right now. Episode 1: “The Breakup Text from Britain” So here’s the tea (pun intended): The American colonies were basically Britain’s rebellious teenagers. They had chores (paying taxes), curfews (trade regulations), and very little say in how things ran. When Britain dropped the "No Representation" line, things got spicy. It’s like a bad relationship where the colonies were ghosted—until they decided to break up. Enter: the Declaration of Independence. Imagine Thomas Jefferson typing out, “We need to talk. ...